Monday, February 27, 2012

the feeling of groundlessness

I read this column this morning, and goodness did it ever feel like I was the person who wrote in for help.  First read the column, it's good advice.  I've talked about this before, but I feel like this is an issue that needs constant revisiting considering it is something that is facing so many people my age these days.  People who are just leaving, or recently have left, college are starting to feel really lost and displaced.  This is because we started preparing for college in middle school (some crazy people even before that) when it was basically a guarantee that if you go to college you will walk out with a good job offer right away.  Or at least a well paying job that made you feel like getting a college degree did make you more valuable in the job market.  But now, as we know, things have changed.  There is no guarantee, not even for a bad or boring job.  But still, when you're feeling that groundlessness you feel like no one else must have this feeling.  That you are the only one seemingly going bonkers by standing in place.  And you can't really imagine what is going to cure this crazy feeling.

This is what I've been feeling since graduating college.  Where do I go?  What do I do?  Should I take the plunge and move somewhere totally different?  Should I consider law school like my parents have been suggesting?  Am I totally selfish for hating the well paying job I have now? After reading the response to the reader I think wandering is a very good way of somehow settling this feeling.  Wandering will not beg the question "what if??" because one will be experiencing and sampling and trying new things.  However, like anyone I have that fear of failure.  Of trying something new and not being good at it or hating it.  Or even getting there and feeling completely lonely in my decision.  In these situations though I think it is really important to allow fear to disseminate.  Because fear and worry, I believe, is what drive groundlessness.  I mean, yes it is very easy for friends of mine to say "You should move to New York! Do it!" but I'm always scared of what will happen if I do and things go terribly wrong terribly fast.  But thinking about it, there has never really been a time where I have made a decision that wasn't perfectly thought out or weighed logically.  I'm not a risk taker and definitely not driven by emotion.  But, in these really tough times where logic on paper isn't making sense (education & creativity does not necessarily equal success anymore) it may be time to combat that with more emotional thinking, no?

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