Tuesday, February 28, 2012

recent realizations

1.  There's no rush in growing up.  Sometimes I overhear teenage girl conversations and I just want to interrupt them and tell them to slow down, because adulthood isn't all that it's cracked up to be so they should take their time!!  With that being said though, being an adult doesn't mean fun is lost either.  It seems to be a balance, and it's always good to humor your inner child.
2.  Girls need girlfriends.  I've always been a girl to have more male friends than female friends, but my female friendships are always the most meaningful and deep relationships I have.  Plus, I'm lucky to have come across some pretty special ladies.
3.  Woah, coffee is my savior.  I know I've said this before, but seriously.  I will never turn down a cup of fresh coffee when I go to someone's house.  So shut up about that tour and get to brewin!!
4.  People who are obsessed with their cell phones sicken me.  Don't lie, they sicken you too.  I have an iPhone but I'm certainly not in love with it.  Sure it makes things in my life a bit easier and it has some really convenient features, but I still feel relieved when I leave my cell phone at home some days.  Really it's a good feeling.  So put down your phone and talk to your friend that is directly in front of you.  Also, all those times you are texting a dumb boy, there is probably a cute one walking right past you and you didn't even notice.  Ha!
5.  Sometimes insomnia is a good thing.  For example, when I can't sleep I plan outfits for the week.  Sleepy stylist.  

Monday, February 27, 2012

the feeling of groundlessness

I read this column this morning, and goodness did it ever feel like I was the person who wrote in for help.  First read the column, it's good advice.  I've talked about this before, but I feel like this is an issue that needs constant revisiting considering it is something that is facing so many people my age these days.  People who are just leaving, or recently have left, college are starting to feel really lost and displaced.  This is because we started preparing for college in middle school (some crazy people even before that) when it was basically a guarantee that if you go to college you will walk out with a good job offer right away.  Or at least a well paying job that made you feel like getting a college degree did make you more valuable in the job market.  But now, as we know, things have changed.  There is no guarantee, not even for a bad or boring job.  But still, when you're feeling that groundlessness you feel like no one else must have this feeling.  That you are the only one seemingly going bonkers by standing in place.  And you can't really imagine what is going to cure this crazy feeling.

This is what I've been feeling since graduating college.  Where do I go?  What do I do?  Should I take the plunge and move somewhere totally different?  Should I consider law school like my parents have been suggesting?  Am I totally selfish for hating the well paying job I have now? After reading the response to the reader I think wandering is a very good way of somehow settling this feeling.  Wandering will not beg the question "what if??" because one will be experiencing and sampling and trying new things.  However, like anyone I have that fear of failure.  Of trying something new and not being good at it or hating it.  Or even getting there and feeling completely lonely in my decision.  In these situations though I think it is really important to allow fear to disseminate.  Because fear and worry, I believe, is what drive groundlessness.  I mean, yes it is very easy for friends of mine to say "You should move to New York! Do it!" but I'm always scared of what will happen if I do and things go terribly wrong terribly fast.  But thinking about it, there has never really been a time where I have made a decision that wasn't perfectly thought out or weighed logically.  I'm not a risk taker and definitely not driven by emotion.  But, in these really tough times where logic on paper isn't making sense (education & creativity does not necessarily equal success anymore) it may be time to combat that with more emotional thinking, no?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

things that make my bad days better

Some days (or most, if you're like me and don't love your job) aren't always what you would hope for them to be.  But really, there is no use in moping around and being sad about it.  There are so many things that can turn a not so good or bad day around.  These are the three things that never fail to cheer me up, no matter what.

Chocolate chip cookies are an instant turn around!  When I'm feeling blue, I walk to the nearby cafe from my work and by a big cookie and an iced black tea.  It instantly puts me back in zen mode.  Also, things like this are necessities so the calories don't count.

A really good workout, post work.  Sometimes, the best thing to combat feeling awful is to make yourself feel worse.  Okay, okay not worse but really if it were up to me I would never work out.  Sure, I feel great during and after but it's the before thought that makes me cringe.  But if I'm going to work out my first choice is usually Pop Physique.  It's insane, intense and intimidating.  But it pushes you and when the class is over you walk out thinking "holy hell, I'm amazing how did I make it through that?"  That is until you wake up the next morning and all your limbs are painful jello.  You're welcome. 

Get yo nails done, girl!  This requires little explanation.  A fresh set of nails make everyday better.

image sources:  one, two, three

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

recent realizations

  1. Thread count is serious business.  I used to be one of those people who said "F*** that, I'll just buy some cheapo sheets from Ikea, who cares right?" WRONG!  I just bought 600 thread count sheets and its like I'm sleeping in butter. Never going back.
  2. Sometimes less is more.  Who knew that if I just cooled it on the fancy products I use on my face that my skin would just relax on its own.  Way to go skin!  NOTE: this "less is more" thing does not apply to rings, coffee or french fries.
  3. Lately, nothing makes me happier than cooking a super yummy meal for my friends.  Turns out I'm really good at this.  Why am I single again?
  4. Don't fight your femininity!  I am a strong, independent woman and heck I don't need anyone telling me what to do (maybe this answers my question above).  But even on days where I'm feeling that crummy I just want to wear leggings and a t-shirt feeling I instantly feel better when I add a little feminine flare to my look.  Wavy hair, a little lipstick or some sparkly earrings...it all helps!
  5. Seriously think before you say something mildly racist/offensive/exclusionary.  You really never know who is around you, even if you think you are the bomb at reading people's ethnicity.   I'm talking to you lady in front of me at checkout in Target!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Loss, and the sadness that comes with that, is such a strange feeling.  You can seemingly have your emotions under control and then one day, in the most unexpected venue, they creep up with no warning.  It has been four years, today, since you left us.  I think of you often, if not every day.  Some days it feels like you passed just yesterday and other days it feels just as long as it has been.  But feelings always creep up.  Whenever "Blackbird" comes on the radio my eyes know to do nothing but cry.  I miss you so much and will cherish every moment of love and friendship we shared.  

Don't just hug and kiss those you love.  But make sure to verbalize the way you feel as often as possible, short of being annoying.  It's so important.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

how some things never change

Yesterday evening I was at my parents' house and my mother insisted on opening the box of old home movies and reliving my childhood.  I was actually pretty excited, being that I hadn't seen my baby self in quite a long time and I was very eager to see video of family members that are no longer with us.  How I miss their faces.  But, what really surprised me while watching these videos is how my brother and my personalities were seemingly carved out at such a ripe age.  In the video we watched, I was two and he was three and a half but it was almost like we were watching ourselves now.  Not in the literal sense, of course.  But it was the little things that were so funny and exactly the same about each of us.  
I was constantly tugging at my hear or nose because I was tired, and I do the same now when I am in need of sleep.  In fact, when I was a child and I didn't get 8-9 hours of sleep I was as good as done.  Same now.  In the videos my brother was the clear leader, and I just mimicked everything he did.  In one scene from Halloween 1991 he was Captain Hook and he raised his hook into the air, and I did the same with my fist even though I was a Persian Princess.  I am constantly trying to give my brother love and kisses, and he is constantly trying to get me in trouble for making a mess or push my love away.  NOTHING about that has changed.  I wonder, is this is similar to other siblings and families?  Watching these videos, I wonder if our personalities never really change.  Interests come and go, and habits are picked up a long the way, but are our personalities essentially carved out from adolescence?  We still have a couple dozen VHS to get through.