Tuesday, May 28, 2013

when you look like a sixteen year old in a room full of "adults"

Perhaps it's my 5'1 stature or my love for polka dots in the workplace, but often times people don't seem to take me seriously because I look like a teenager.  I am a 24-year old woman but I don't look it.  I mean, I don't look like a woman at all.  I don't wear heels unless I'm going on a job interview or if they're absolutely essential to a slammin' outfit, I wear pretty natural makeup, and I don't push my lady bits into push-up bras or cleavage busting tops.  Considering for the times, I am pretty toned down when girls are trying to turn up.
The funny thing is, if you ask most of my lady friends they will tell you I am the most grown up of all of us.  Looking professional, being ladylike and having my shit together is very important to me.  But when I am in a room full of women in suits and lipstick, I tend to feel like I'm only the in the room because it's take your daughter to work day.  When it's not.  
And it is for this feeling of being a little, tiny shrimp, in a room full of sharks that I feel like people don't take me very seriously at work.  It's not because I'm unprofessional or inappropriate in any way.  It's because I look like their daughter who is probably still in high school complaining that their mom won't let them get pink highlights.  It really is so unfair!  The pink highlights and the ageist discrimination.  It has gotten to the point where when I take charge or speak up in kind of a demanding way at work, people look really surprised.  Like I wasn't or shouldn't be capable of such guts or conviction.  I can see it in their eyes where they want to say "um can she talk like that? she's just a baby!"  
So what's a girl to do?  I happen to work in an environment where almost everyone is older than me.  I have a few people in the twenty-something age group, but for the most part we're talking 40+ who don't look at me as someone who should take charge and hold responsibility  like I do.  It's something that I fear will hold me back in life.  As odd as that sounds, I really worry about it.  Because I do have a lot of potential, am a really fast learner, and a supremely hard worker (okay, I should shut up, not trying to toot my horn) but I fear that people won't be able to visually picture me in a position of authority because I look like I belong in an episode of Glee.  
I know some people will say that the look has nothing to do with it, and people will give you respect and responsibility with how you carry yourself and if you demand it.  And all of that is true, but we still live in a society where looks mean a lot whether that be a good or bad thing.  We still judge people by how they look.  We assign "appropriateness" based on people's look.  You see an image and you start building an idea of that person:  what their job may be, their friends, their social interactions, etc.  Yes, it's judgmental but we all do it!  I'm just trying to figure out how to make it work my favor without putting on a pair of heels.  Because I'm telling you people, I just won't do it.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

recent realizations

1.  I guess it doesn't matter how old you are, even if you're a grown ass woman:  immature responses to constructive (justified) criticism is universal.  I mean c'mon ladies, let's work together!
2.  Sometimes, when you're on medication where you can't be in the sun for long periods of time, you'll do the unthinkable.  In my case it's a spray tan since I haven't been able to lay in the sun for about a year.  Don't worry, I will make sure that this tragedy won't happen to me.
3.  When work is getting you down, the only cure is margaritas and lots of chips n salsa.  Trust me, it's science.
4.  Nail polish says a lot about who you are and how you feel.  So dudes, don't make your girlfriends feel bad about taking so long to pick!  Cause I am totally judging her if she has some iridescent blue stuff going on.  

Monday, May 13, 2013

instagram life, lately

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Frank, still the cutest pup on Earth; new shoes I adore
Ciclavia fun!; more fun
hung up a new mirror in my apartment; Six Flags heat stroke
SUP new gold name plate; DTLA shots
two things I love:  fresh cut bangs & ice cream; speaking of bangs, I clearly have not changed since age 1
Foxy mama on this Mother's Day

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

recent realizations: los angeles edition

1.  I hate driving more than ever.  Even though my commute is shorter, I now live in a beautiful neighborhood where apparently everyone is polite enough to say "good morning" in passing, but it's totally fine to side swipe a car or scratch a bumper with no note.  
2.  I truly believe we have the best, most delicious, and unpretentious food in the country.  You can get some insane, bomb, gourmet eats without the nonsense ingredients or garnishes.  Also, there is no arguing with me on this.
3.  WTF girls, I know it felt like summer for like four seconds, but its currently raining and gloomy so could you please put away those ass-cheek baring shorts k thanks.
4.  It really is a mystery how I have lived in Los Angeles all my life, seen basically every celebrity imaginable but I still have not spotted a Kardashian.  Okay I met Kris once for a second at my old job, but I don't care about her!  I'll swap my Leo DiCaprio/Britney Spears interaction any day for some Kim action.
5.  Dogs are NOT accessories, so don't show up to a Cinco De Mayo party at a bar with your chihuahua jerk.