I know it has been said before, but growing up I was never one of those girls who dreamed of getting married. I was never the typically cute girl in middle school/high school and I didn't realize that it was possible that one day the person I had a crush on might like me back. Having never dreamed about the big day with the white dress, I always just hoped I would meet someone who was as into me as I was into them, made me laugh, and made me feel like I could unapologetically be myself.
I found that in my husband. Aside from being the person that everyone in the room loves, he has made me realize what true love is, and what respect in a relationship means. When we got engaged a year ago I was less excited to plan our wedding, than I was to collect life lessons that I should be carrying with me into our marriage. Because I recognized that as incredible as your wedding day is, it eventually fades and the foundation of your relationship along with what you decide this new chapter in your life will be ultimately is left standing. That being said, I am so happy to now be married to my best friend, and these are the lessons I am taking into our forever:
- Maintain your sense of self, even though you are now one. Continue to have "me" time, different interests and varying ideas of the perfect day.
- Put your phone down and acknowledge one another. Don't let your partner walk into the house without acknowledgement and warmth. Because without these walls, they are your home and its in your best interest to nurture it.
- Don't go to bed angry. An age old one--but really a night of sleep loss is worth the resolution.
- You are different. Remind yourself that there will always be things they are better at, and things you're better at. Hoping for them to suddenly be how you are will only end in disaster.
- Communication is key.
- Never stop laughing. If a day comes where I am not laughing in pain at least 5 times, I will be extremely alarmed.
- Do things you don't want to. For Carlos, its going to bed at 10pm some nights. For me, its enduring the sounds of drum & base blaring through speakers.
- Never disrespect one another. As heated as arguments may get, as upset you as you may feel, the basis of your relationship should always be respect.