Friday, January 18, 2013

personal rituals

 I am a fan of the personal ritual.  The things you do yourself, for yourself.  I have daily rituals that I'm sure if other people saw would think are completely bizarre, but that is what makes them personal and intimate.  
There is this great episode of Sex & the City (yes, I am a woman like any woman who loves SATC) where Carrie is contemplating moving in with Aiden and she is scared that he will see all her "secret single behavior" or, even worse, she will have to give them up.  Behavior that makes her so happy, like eating saltine crackers with jelly while standing up in her kitchen, reading fashion magazines.  When she uttered that fear that those little things that make her so happy, which might be a little strange to do around other people, might have to be hidden I related to her so deeply--as I am sure many women did.  
My strange rituals range in waking up every morning and drinking a glass of water with lemon before I do anything else; doing my nails in bed while watching the Daily Show (this feels so good, and I don't know why); washing my face and proceeding to examine each pore and pluck any out of place hair (definitely not cute to do in front of someone else); reorganizing and polishing all my jewelry while listening to rap.  I think it is these little things that keep us sane and also make that personal time with yourself (!!) so important.  Because no one will really understand why you like those little things you like. 
I'm sure there are weird things my spouse does when I'm not around.  But, honestly, knowing him he would probably tell me.  I do like to think though that there are certain things we have for ourselves.  I don't see it as keeping anything from the other person, but it's about having that relationship with yourself.  We are both very, very into each other BUT we are also into ourselves.  Okay, maybe that came out wrong.  What I'm trying to say (and probably failing at it) is that we both value our time to ourselves.  Our alone time.  Our me time.  And while I don't like to speak for the one I love, I think it is safe to say that having our alone time is healthy.  And even when we are together we can be perfectly silent and comfortable--but I don't know if we're quite at the point where I can wear a lavendar de-puffing eye mask around him while I knit a scarf.  Not yet at least.  

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