Sunday, July 31, 2011


I know that girls functionally and medically become women once that awkward/ugly puberty stage hits in your teens, but really I feel like my coming into adulthood is just hitting me in my early twenties. And with that, I think there are somethings your mother can never prepare you for in being a girl in this stage in her life. For example, no one ever told me that either my skin will be looking amazing or my figure would be just how I want it to be. Never at the same time. I just get one. No one prepares you for that. I get that you can't have it all, but those are kind of important for a girl looking for some sort of future potential husband in the pathetic arena of dating that is the dive bars I peruse with friends.

Which brings me to another thing my mother didn't prepare me for: how grim it is out there these days to find a nice, clean shaven, charming young man. My parents met when my mother was 23 (the birthday I'll be coming upon next) which seems almost unheard of to me. Not because I think that is far too young to meet the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. But because I can't imagine finding anyone amongst the flock that I have seen that I could see that type of future with. I'm not saying that boys are awful and gross and it's a desert out there. But it kind of is, being that I truly believe that females mature much faster then males do. A belief that is constantly reinforced when I see boys jaws drop when they learn I am finished with college, living on my own and have a good job. To them that seems unheard of or intimidating or just too much to comprehend, I think?

Maybe I've been watching too much Mad Men, or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I really do believe that there should be more effort in courting these days. I hold my feminist beliefs, but I also think trying to get my number while wearing flip flops and a backwards cap at a dimly lit bar is almost insulting. My mother did prepare me for gentlemen and gentlemen acts. That includes putting an effort in your appearance. I've spoken to friends about this, and I think the primary frustration is that we girls spend time, effort and money into looking put together and pretty. And yes, we do that because it makes US feel good (at least I do), but it is also a reflection of what we expect or what we want to attract. If I wanted a guy with flip flops and a backwards cap, I would have thrown on a sweat suit and Uggs and walked around my local campus. But we're supposed to be grown ups, guys.

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