Tuesday, April 30, 2013

lady seeking lady: platonic

You gotta have your girls, am I right?  Your girls keep you in check, listen to you ramble about the nonsense boys don't even have the earhole capacity for, and they can show you how to do a fishtail braid!  Show me a boyfriend who can do that?  Actually, don't.  Because if your boyfriend can do that you may have a whole other set of issues on your hands. 
What I'm trying to say is, girlfriends are so very necessary.  I hate those girls who get boyfriends and then never have a moment for their ladies.  It's just not right.  And so, I've never been one of those people.  But one thing that comes with growing up is the women you love and adore most--the women who you look to for clarity, gossip about Mad Men, and opinions on length of bangs--get their own lives, map their own futures, and therefore become less accessible. 
For example, I have a core group of lady friends (women, I should say rather) who I stayed close with throughout high school and now into our twenties.  But when we were younger, we were all here together.  Now, that we are adults with responsibilities and real life choices on our hands, we find ourselves separate.  One in Israel, one in San Francisco, one in Sweden, one in Oregon, and sadly one who became a girl who's boyfriend became the only important thing in her life.  Now there are only three of us left here in sweet ol' Los Angeles.  And we don't even live in the same hood!  Yikes, considering Los Angeles traffic.  
My best friend lives across the country, and having recently accepted going to grad school in Wisconsin I'm coming to the sad realization that we will probably never live in the same city again.  I mean, grad school is probably where she will meet her husband, procreate with some snow mobile riding mountain man, and leave me (a city girl) for a farm with chickens and puppies.  But, who could blame her?
My point is, where in the hell do you make new lady friends at this stage in your life?  It's practically impossible, I'm guessing.  I mean, I don't work with anyone my age (well one, who really is a darling gal), I don't frequent any yoga places (which seems to be a hot bed for making friends, considering I always see people chatting with a fresh juice and mats in tow, post workout), and I'm really shy/a bit judgey when it comes to making new friends.  
Maybe there in lies the problem.  I mean, considering the city I live in has a lot of freak shows it can be a bit hard not to judge.  But I guess I'm not looking for a girlfriend to make small talk with and grab a drink with every once in a while to catch up.  I'm looking for that special gal that I can get my nails done with, run errands with, and cry about the unjust torture of body hair removal.  These are the special things that not all women posses   And the older I get, the more worried I become that I won't meet that special someone--okay special someones.  I realize that this is starting to sound like the paranoia one would feel when thinking of never meeting a significant other/spouse.  But this is so much more important.  Because those special girlfriends will really be there through it all.  And they will be the ones on your side when explaining the recently ridiculous fight you and your boyfriend had.  And damnit  every girl needs another girl to tell you "you are so right, that is crazy.  I would have lost my mind."  
When you meet a girl that fulfills all of these ridiculous requirements you feel like you've struck gold.  Where have you been all my life?  We're meant to be!  I mean, you don't say that of course, but duh you know you both feel it.  So where do I meet these goldmine ladies?  Maybe it's time to take up spinning, join a book club, or hang out near the bathroom at bars to find those special someones.  Okay, I hear it.  I'm sounding reeeeeaaal Single White Female.


  1. Oh my god, right?! What do we do, Katia? Craigslist's "strictly platonic" section? WforW? It's so awkward to meet new female friends as a grown up.

    I've tried to do the typical girl thing where we compliment one's style, accessory, hair, whatever. But I must be doing it wrong or I look like a lesbian. I did make a new friend in SD because she called me out to a dance battle at a bar. Ummm.... apparently I just need to "Bring it On" more often.

  2. ahaha bring it on! it is very difficult! i feel like i have so so many female friends, but mostly friends that i'm not super close with (like friends in passing, i'll have a drink with em but probably not open up to them). it's hard to find that special bond, almost like as difficult it is to find a good man. you can compliment my hair any day bb, coming from you it would be like a blessing from the hair gods