lady seeking lady: platonic

You gotta have your girls, am I right?  Your girls keep you in check, listen to you ramble about the nonsense boys don't even have the earhole capacity for, and they can show you how to do a fishtail braid!  Show me a boyfriend who can do that?  Actually, don't.  Because if your boyfriend can do that you may have a whole other set of issues on your hands. 

What I'm trying to say is, girlfriends are so very necessary.  I hate those girls who get boyfriends and then never have a moment for their ladies.  It's just not right.  And so, I've never been one of those people.  But one thing that comes with growing up is the women you love and adore most--the women who you look to for clarity, gossip about Mad Men, and opinions on length of bangs--get their own lives, map their own futures, and therefore become less accessible. 

For example, I have a core group of lady friends (women, I should say rather) who I stayed close with throughout high school and now into our twenties.  But when we were younger, we were all here together.  Now, that we are adults with responsibilities and real life choices on our hands, we find ourselves separate.  One in Israel, one in San Francisco, one in Sweden, one in Oregon, and sadly one who became a girl who's boyfriend became the only important thing in her life.  Now there are only three of us left here in sweet ol' Los Angeles.  And we don't even live in the same hood!  Yikes, considering Los Angeles traffic.  

My best friend lives across the country, and having recently accepted going to grad school in Wisconsin I'm coming to the sad realization that we will probably never live in the same city again.  I mean, grad school is probably where she will meet her husband, procreate with some snow mobile riding mountain man, and leave me (a city girl) for a farm with chickens and puppies.  But, who could blame her?

My point is, where in the hell do you make new lady friends at this stage in your life?  It's practically impossible, I'm guessing.  I mean, I don't work with anyone my age (well one, who really is a darling gal), I don't frequent any yoga places (which seems to be a hot bed for making friends, considering I always see people chatting with a fresh juice and mats in tow, post workout), and I'm really shy/a bit judgey when it comes to making new friends.  

Maybe there in lies the problem.  I mean, considering the city I live in has a lot of freak shows it can be a bit hard not to judge.  But I guess I'm not looking for a girlfriend to make small talk with and grab a drink with every once in a while to catch up.  I'm looking for that special gal that I can get my nails done with, run errands with, and cry about the unjust torture of body hair removal.  These are the special things that not all women posses   And the older I get, the more worried I become that I won't meet that special someone--okay special someones.  I realize that this is starting to sound like the paranoia one would feel when thinking of never meeting a significant other/spouse.  But this is so much more important.  Because those special girlfriends will really be there through it all.  And they will be the ones on your side when explaining the recently ridiculous fight you and your boyfriend had.  And damnit  every girl needs another girl to tell you "you are so right, that is crazy.  I would have lost my mind."  

When you meet a girl that fulfills all of these ridiculous requirements you feel like you've struck gold.  Where have you been all my life?  We're meant to be!  I mean, you don't say that of course, but duh you know you both feel it.  So where do I meet these goldmine ladies?  Maybe it's time to take up spinning, join a book club, or hang out near the bathroom at bars to find those special someones.  Okay, I hear it.  I'm sounding reeeeeaaal Single White Female.

my thoughts on Boston as my thoughts are in Boston

I have felt a lot of things over the past day, and I'm sure the range of emotions isn't over.  I heard about the tragic bombings in Boston when I was having lunch yesterday.  I got a news alert on my phone and instantly my heart sank into my stomach.  I feared that the pain and anguish that hit this country nearly twelve years ago was back.  

For one to understand what Marathon Monday is like in Boston, one has to be there.  To have lived there or to have been there on a Marathon Monday past.  It always takes place on Patriot's Day.  Now, anyone who hasn't lived in New England will say "hey! we don't have that!".  That's right, you don't  It's really just a New England thing, and every year it's great.  There is a parade, the marathon, and usually both a Celtics game and Red Sox day-game.  The city is enthralled in celebration, pride and just really experiencing Boston.  And also that "yay I don't have to go to school" feeling.  

I only lived in Boston for two years, but for both years I went and cheered on marathon runners at the finish line. When I saw photos, video, audio, everything that was streaming through the airwaves yesterday I kept thinking about the times where I was there cheering.  I couldn't imagine a wonderful day like those instantly changing forever.  Changing a tradition, changing people's lives, changing a city.  

The Boston Marathon is the oldest marathon in the United States.  It signifies a lot of pride, joy and beauty.  But now it is forever changed.  There will forever be a cloud, a sadness, a sense of mourning over this once very innocent and wonderful tradition.  

After the news broke and registered in my mind yesterday I called my best friend, a native New Englander.  All we could do was repeat how sad it was, how scary it was, and how shaken we felt by the whole thing.  We went to school less than a mile from that finish line.  I entered and exited the subway stop in front of the intersection hundreds of time.  It only now feels like nostalgia isn't just fond memories of the past, but memories you wish could stay as is without the sadness that now lingers.  

recent realizations

1.  Moving sucks so baaaaaaad!  Between the unpacking and organizing  and building furniture why would anyone ever move from their cave of a room?
2.  That being said, how did I ever not live in the lovely neighborhood I live in now?  I can walk to basically everything, my drive to work is eight minutes and there are so many cute puppies on my block.  Heaven!
3.  Strong, independent women load the car with newly purchased Ikea furniture while their boyfriends go buy themselves ice cream.  Or at least that is what I witnessed this weekend and said "you go girl!"
4.  Nothing will make you feel more like a cave woman than simultaneously going a month without a bang trim and two weeks without a manicure.  I feel like a monster.  

alive, i am!

No, I did not die or burrow in a small hole.  I just had the plague for a week and moved this past weekend so things have been hectic.  I'll be back with tales, sarcasm and grumpy ramblings soon. xo

lemme peep that medicine cabinet

Some might say I'm a bit high maintenance.  With a morning shower and all that I take about an hour to get ready.  I got some luscious locks, take time on my make up, and even though my closet is a sea of black, white and oxblood (yes, I like those bougy names for colors) I always find myself debating outfit combinations.  Last weekend when my bff came to visit she was ready in about twenty minutes (and popped out lookin' damn fly) and spent the rest of the hour playing with my dog on my bed as she waited.  Point is, I am a fancy bitch with fancy problems.  And all of that is very clear if you just peep my medicine cabinet.

In this very sacred cabinet (which is gigantic compared to most people's bathroom space) I have make up, bath products, hair oils, vitamins, samples, whim beauty purchases from Whole Foods, and many face washes.  It may seem like too much but I use all of it at some point and if I'm not it has pretty packaging so shut up.  

I think you can tell a lot about a person from their medicine cabinet.  Like who they are as a person or what they value.  Kinda.  If you looked in mine you could tell that having clear skin and hair that shines like the ocean is very important to me.  Also, that I probably have an unhealthy obsession with perfume.  You would also be able to tell that I get into really intense vitamin stages and then give up before the bottle is halfway empty (I blame all these damn articles on the benefits of juicing and vitamins and Gwenyth Paltrow).  It doesn't just go for me though.  If you looked in my college roommate's cabinet you could tell that she never washed or moisturized her face because according to her "I don't have the money for that kinda shit!"(keep in mind she had plenty of money to spend on a George Foreman grill and the various disgusting meat that went on said grill, which I also never saw her wash).  I bet you feel a lot better about your regimen now.  Homegirl was crusty.  I never once saw her wash off eye make up.  She just reapplied, reapplied, reapplied for two years!

But, I digress!   I'm not just interested in what I keep stocked in my cabinet, I wanna see everyone's!  Maybe it's to find out about new products and perfumes or maybe it's just to be a creep and find out what kind of weird rash cream you have going on.  And I know I'm not the only one.  There is a section of a very fabulous/popular beauty blog that interviews people about their medicine cabinets!  People out there are freaks just like me, see!  It says a lot about the person.  You see these posh people and open up their cabinets, and goddamnit would ya look at that!  Their cabinets are just as posh as they are!  Going back to my crusty roommate, you could look at her and know she wasn't packing fancy creams or lotions.  The only thing a stranger would expect to find in her cabinet was sandpaper and the black chalk she used to rim her eyelids.  Okay, I hear it.  I'm a mean girl.  

However, I really do think your stuff (specifically your grooming stuff) says a lot about you.  I even think medicine cabinets can even indicate a life change.  Flashback to nine months ago, I'm certain my boyfriend's cabinet was much sadder than it is now.  Today, it has blue algae face moisturizer, fancy shaving cream and tea tree oil face pads!  Men don't know about tea tree oil!  That is until they get themselves a fancy ass bitch to tell them all about it.  

really, why do we care?

After reading the latest headline of former child star turned professional train wreck Lindsay Lohan accepting a plea deal to go to mandatory "lock down" rehab, I instantly starting making judgments about this girl.  Okay, maybe at this point they aren't judgments because she has a series of screw ups and consistent "eff yous" to the law that I feel like I have a pretty good stack of paparazzi photos and court documents to prove this girl kinda isn't great at life.  But it got me thinking about why we are so invested in these celebrity's lives.  Why we care so much when one of them wears something awful, says something offensive or kinda sorta really breaks the law.  But it isn't everyone who cares so much.  It's mostly women.  I have never been around a group of straight men and the conversation steers to celebrity gossip.  Okay, correction--I've never been around a group of straight men and the conversation steers to celebrity gossip that does not entail a sex tape or some upskirt vag pics.  

So what's the deal ladies?  Why do we care so much?  I do tend to believe that women like to gossip and chatter way more than men do.  And this isn't me just making sweeping judgments   I have sat on my bed with a friend scrolling through a gossip website laughing, making fun of and assuming a lot about these people's characters who I don't know even a little bit.  I also constantly see and hear women talking smack or repeating stories about someone they know, kinda know, or love to hate.  It's kind of become who we are as women.  We gossip.  A lot.  In all forms, in all walks of life, in any place.  You can be riding the bus hearing women exchanging the latest story about a fellow housekeeper on their morning commute (not racist because it's true) or in the bathroom of a restaurant and hear girls ridiculing their sole friend who was left at the table's outfit.  

I wouldn't make this such an issue or ponder over it too much because most gossip (at least the celebrity kind) can be pretty harmless but I think it's getting to the point where it's not.  Women are judged far more harshly than men are in society.  Just look at how they are treated in the public eye.  Everyone knows and recognizes the mugshots of lady celebs post their bad girl behavior, but did you know that Josh Brolin got a DUI like a couple months ago?  Probably not, because no one really cares and most girls probably weren't talking about it.  

My point is that it seems that we ladies can kind of be our own downfall.  We talk a lot of about other girls to the point where it becomes impossible to separate the person from the slip ups.  But men don't do that to one another.  At least not as much in my opinion.  I don't like that we as women have stopped supporting each other and started ticking off reasons to hate or make fun of one another.  

I do think a lot of why it is acceptable to talk bad about women more than men is because it is more acceptable for men to be bad.  They're just branded "bad boys".  And it's not a bad thing.  It becomes sexy, mysterious and even an image that can be sought after.  But women are generally expected to behave a certain way and if they don't, they're in trouble.  There is no "bad girl" image that is flattering or complimentary for women.  Usually it's just an implication that everyone thinks you need help or are being kind of a whore.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we as women should really cut each other some slack.  Maybe society has wired us to think that we should pass judgement on girls who make bad decisions and laugh at them or show no sympathy for their perils, but girl you know there was a night (or several nights) where you were doing something where someone walked by and muttered "oh my god did you see that girl?".  Whether it be puking in a trashcan in public, getting pulled over by the police, or wearing something that left little to the imagination   Point is, we've all done something that we would probably judge ourselves for, so shut up.  Except when it comes to Lindsay.  I think we can all agree that homegirl has had enough chances. 

recent realizations

1.  Boys do creepy stalker like things all the time.  Maybe this isn't so much of a realization, but rather a thing that keeps coming up among my friends and I.  Some dudes just never seem to get when it's over and time to give up.
2.  When your boyfriend and best friend meet and like each other, there is nothing greater!
3.  I never quite feel prepared for spring/summer.  I always seem to have plenty of clothes and stuff for the cold months but I am never in the mood to wear a tank top and shorts, sorry.
4.  Beyonce can kinda rap and I am into it.  Dare I say the return of Sasha Fierce?