Keeping up with the Kardashians and the crisis in Syria

I think it’s fair to say that we’re all kind of a mixed bag.  Whether it’s being a fitness freak and loving ice cream, or being a dog person who secretly watches cat videos—no one is ever one thing.  There is often more than meets the eye, so to speak in corny clichés.  So this past week when I was called out by one of my favorite news sources for apparently not being “newsy” enough for them, I felt offended and really unfairly judged on the surface.

Let me back track.  The other day I tweeted @NPRjobs to see if they had any openings in the LA area.  As a working professional with a Print & Multimedia Journalism degree I was just doing my usual browsing for new opportunities.  And since I’m constantly hearing all this chatter about how finding a job on Twitter is more common than you would imagine, I thought “why not me?”  Well, I soon found out why not.  I got a message my beloved iPhone that @NPRjobs had replied to me.  Oh joy!  Could it be?  I’m becoming one of those stories you hear about where you tweeted a question and now magically I’m the CEO?  Could it be?!  Not exactly.  @NPRjobs replied with “Replace diplomats with celebrities and you're in”.  Now this isn’t me calling out NPR on anything.  For the record, I absolutely love NPR, specifically “All Things Considered” which I listen to everyday, despite my boyfriend reminding me that it’s less than cool to be rolling around Los Angeles with my windows rolled down, bumping Robert Siegel.  I depend on NPR for a lot of news, current events, awesome books to read, and to remind me that I have a lot to learn about wind energy. 

But despite my love for NPR, I was hurt.  Sure, two of my last tweets referenced Kanye West but heck he was on my mind!  The reply left me feeling very insecure.  The type of insecure when one thinks to themselves “Ew is that how I come off?” much like when you hear your voice on an answering machine.  Immediate cringe.  But then, as I scrolled through my Twitter feed I started to feel unfairly judged.  Sure, I had tweets about Ye, Beyoncé and Kobe Bryant.  But I also talk about Egypt, the unemployment rate in the US, civil war in Syria and global warming.  Sure I partook in my guilty pleasure that is celebrity gossip, but for the most part my tweets were either jokes (that are really sad, hilarious things that have happened to me) or things I’ve read.  You know, normal things that people put on Twitter if Twitter isn’t their job. 

I felt very defensive.  I wanted to shout “Hey! Just take a look at my resume!  That’s not filled with any celebrity references!”  I understand that your internet presence is an extremely important part of who you are in the employment world these days.  I mean, I wrote about it on my blog!   But why can’t a girl be into the latest celebrity chatter AND the news of the world.  Are those things mutually exclusive?  Has it gotten to the point where I will be judged if I’m carrying the Economist along with the latest People magazine?  I never thought it was a problem for those things to coincide.  After all, we’re all human and all have guilty pleasures whether it is gossip, Oreos, bedazzled nails or the Real Housewives.  We’ve all got them, and I dare you to find someone who doesn’t! 

In the end, I guess I can see where they were coming from.  They probably didn’t read past my most recent tweets so they based their judgment off of that.  And I’m not so self-involved that I’m going to sit here for hours and analyze why someone might think I am shallow enough to only care about celebrity gossip.  But I do think it is worth a discussion about how just because someone talks about or peruses the internet for stuff that may seem meaningless, a waste of time and with little to no depth, that doesn’t mean that’s all there is to them.  This little incident made me realize that the next time I overhear someone talking about Honey Boo Boo, I should check myself before I pass any judgment.  Because even the strongest, most put together woman I can think of has a guilty pleasure.  And I ain’t faulting her for it!

oh yikes

Career frustrations has me feeling like the photo above.  Excuse my absence.  Trying to get my everything together to move on UP!

Things I hate spending money on: Part 1

Not one of these smiles are genuine.

Just reading the title of this series, I'm sure you're saying to yourself "um this will be never ending " because really we all have like a thousand things that we hate spending money on.  But I'm going to try to focus on things that particularly suck and are particularly necessary to spend your money on as an adult.  So, blabbing no further:  I hate spending money on work clothes.  

Unlike some of you super cool, freelance, chill, young work place people, I have a "normal" job.  It's not particularly exciting, for the most part it pays the bills, and I don't know much about the people around me because nothing we wear says anything about who we are.  When the seasons change and I realize that it's time to change my work wardrobe I always let out a loud, very detectable groan.  

Why?!  Why must I spend my hard earned money, that could go towards fabulous things like manicures, gourmet pizza and even more throw pillows, on pants suits, blazers, boring "work" tops and frumpy cardigans?  I still haven't figured out a way to look cute at a desk job.  I constantly see these fashion bloggers posting pictures of a work outfits and every time I think "who would wear that to work?!"  Call me grandma, but there is no way in hell I'm wearing platform heels to work.  And if  I even dare show up in a shorts suit  my boss will most definitely give me the "you know I'm sending you home" look.  

No one likes spending money on work clothes, is my ultimate point.  Whether you work at a restaurant and have to buy those ugly "nonslip" shoes, or you work in retail and your employer essentially forces you to wear their $400 jeans.  It's something that none of us want to do.  I can't tell you how much of a better, more efficient employee I would be if I could show up to work in leggings and just look fabulous on my down time.  Because honestly, this whole  "work" business is already cutting into my fabulous time.  How can I be expected to look effortlessly cool if I'm leaving work wearing slacks and a polka dot button down with grandma loafers?  Essentially impossible.  No one is going to believe the lie I tell that I am the secret fourth Kardashian sister if I"m not constantly walking around like shopping and worrying about my juice cleanse are my only problems.  

All I'm saying is, we live in California and in the year 2013.  So I don't believe anyone who is sitting in a suit is comfortable doing so.  This isn't 1968 à la a Mad Men board meeting.  No one leaves work in a suit and goes on a sexy rendezvous anymore (at least no one I know).  Most people leave and head straight for the gym or the nearest take out.  So can't we just get with the times and allow people to show up to work in their normal attire as long as it doesn't require assless chaps or bikini tops?  For the sake of my pocketbook, please.  

recent realizations

1.  Tea and vitamins actually work
2.  Working out sucks, but if you have a pretty view it sucks slightly less
3.  Vacations are necessary, even if they are only for a day
4.  Can someone tell me what the rage is about cronuts?   I had one recently and it was good but it wasn't slap yourself good.  I would probably just take a glazed donut given the option.  

where there is injustice there is turmoil

Prior to the verdict, there was a request for calm.  Calm reaction to whatever the verdict may be.  The verdict, of course, is of the case of George Zimmerman, the man who admittedly shot and killed a 17 year-old, unarmed boy.  On Saturday evening, the verdict was not guilty. 

Calm?  How can people be calm?  How can calm exist in a time of injustice, racism, and seeming loss of civil rights?  I feel like I can go on and on about this, and I definitely have prior to and after this verdict.  But instead, I will direct you to a piece written by Edward Wyckoff Williams who is able to write something profound, impactful and eloquent that goes beyond anger and frustration.  Something I am having a tough time doing right now.

sure ways to have a lovely day

1.  Drink coffee
2.  Have a good hair day
3.  Wear something that makes you feel your most confident
4.  Wear perfume
5.  Call someone you haven't talked to in a while to catch up
6.  Tell someone you love them
7.  Indulge in a guilty pleasure
8.  Kiss
9.  Set a goal
10.  Do something nice for someone else

i'm in a long term relationship and i sometimes judge other women, so am i not a feminist?

I, like a lot of woman, have struggled with the word feminist for quite a while.  I always knew that I wanted to be treated no different than a man--I mean I enjoy chivalry and please open my car door for me, but I don't want to be treated differently when it comes to competence, ability, job performance, etc.  I think most people can agree that chivalry and modern feminism can exist hand in hand and if you don't well then maybe stop reading now cause you may be up in arms as my sentences unwind.  

You could say my feminist journey began in the fifth or sixth grade when I was asked to great a scrapbook of sorts, chronicling an important figure in an American social movement.  And while people were cutting pictures out of Lincoln, MLK, and JFK (all ballers of their time, don't get me wrong) I was writing about Gloria Steinem and explaining why I thought she was the real Superwoman, sans fabulous gold cuffs.  At that age I probably didn't know a whole lot about what it meant to be a feminist but I sure felt like one.  I didn't have a bra to burn at the time, but if I did you can bet I would have started a trash can fire in the middle of the school yard.  I think that my discovery and eventual marvel of Gloria Steinem's rebellion is what first awoke me to the idea that boys and girls don't have to be treated totally different.  

I come from a family with a very strong and fiercely independent mother who is also very happily married.  However, I'm also of middle eastern ethnicity on both sides of my family where my Armenian grandmother always trained me to ask my brother if he wants anything to drink (and proceed to go get it for him even though he has perfectly functioning arms and legs), and an Iranian grandmother who I could see always treated my mother differently from her three brothers, who in my grandmother's eyes (bless her soul) were more capable than my mother by reason of their genitalia alone.  As a kid I always felt very strong and smart but I always, up until my understanding that feminism existed, combated with showing that strength because I would see the elder women in my life teaching me that women should be dotting and assist the males in their lives (even if it is their snotty brother who is a mere year and a half older than them).  

So, from that point I decided that feminism was something important enough to explore and define for myself.  Worrying what boys thought about me exited my mind (although, as a chubby seventh grader with braces, I doubt that made any difference to boys), and being strong and smart became a priority.  School was always easy for me, but I started writing more, entering poetry contests and actually noticing that I was good at something.  And more importantly, I became proud of how good I was at it and wasn't afraid to acknowledge my accomplishments.  But with that did come a certain amount of alienation   Through middle school and high school I noticed that girls who I knew were smart and would get A's on every exam never really showed their intelligence on the quad.  It wasn't cute to be smart.  It was cute to laugh at a boy's jokes and wear Abercrombie t-shirts.  Two things I tried for a bit but quickly realized I felt stupid and I couldn't afford to wear Abercormbie shirts.  

At that age, I felt like I would be kind of a sell out or a phony feminist if I didn't maintain a level of toughness and anti-femininity.  But now I see that that is totally not the case.  I stayed smart in school.  Mostly stayed away from boys  and eventually minored in Women's and Gender Studies in college.  And as I enter my mid-twenties I wonder if the fact that I am in a long-term relationship and I wear girly crap, get my nails done, and sometimes judge other girls if I am no longer the feminist I thought I was.   

That is where things get problematic   In this day and age, femininity and feminism are defined in vastly different ways than they once were.  There used to be this type of "feminazi" stereotype against women who labeled themselves as feminists.  But in an age where women are running Fortune 500 companies, taking over the higher education, dominating the workplace, and increasingly becoming the primary breadwinners of families there are no longer shackles or restrictions on the word feminist.  You can have nail art, wear thigh high boots and still be a feminist.  You can listen and enjoy rap music and still be a feminist.  Hell, if something makes you feel empowered and it isn't hurting anyone who's to say it isn't as revolutionary as publicly burning your bra?  

I do struggle with this, because at times I feel guilt about my priorities and if they align with my feminist beliefs.  Image can be important to me, but I also believe that is ingrained in me because I know that society is less likely to take a woman seriously if she doesn't present herself properly.  Hundreds of years of fashion and history have taught us that.  So rather than start an image revolution, why not play the game?  I don't think that is necessarily a betrayal of feminism.