recent realizations

1.  There's no time like complete family time.  Having my brother in town this weekend made me realize how much I miss our family being together.  It's always the happiest of times.  Except for when my brother still calls me the same names as when I was five.
2.  Mad Men is amazing.  And if you're not watching it, you had better jump on this bandwagon NOW.  Seriously, what is stopping you?  There are handsomes, babes, debauchery, adultery, and the tough social/political issues of the day.  All while everyone looks perfectly polished and dapper.  Something for everyone!
3.  I know most people will disagree with me on this, but I love the way Portuguese sounds.  I watch Adrift last night and fell in love with that language.  
4.  Vacations are just as necessary as hard work in life. 

solo dwelling

As a lady who lives alone, I really loved this article.  I could definitely relate to the speaking French to yourself part!

National Day of Unplugging

There are so many readily available excuses, more so than there were in decades past, I believe because we are so immersed in technology and staying "connected" on some level.  I find myself constantly making excuses for things like not keeping my goal of reading one book a week, or going to yoga everyday, or even writing personalized notes rather than text messages to wish friends & family a happy birthday.  And my excuse is always "I'm too busy," or "Gosh, I wish I could do that!"  But looking at my days, it seems there is one thing that can take a backseat to all of these things that would create a more fulfilling life: unplugging.  I seem to find the time to check my facebook, twitter, daily blogs and news sights everyday, sometimes every hour (eep!), and that needs to stop.  
Now, that being said, I don't think I am the worst of the bunch when it comes to needing to be connected.  Only four months ago did I get a phone with internet capabilities, and I still feel a sense of relief (not panic) when I leave my phone at home for the day.  But it makes me sad and leaves me scratching my head when I see people break out in a cold sweat when their cell phone has been left on their bedside table for the day.  Oh goodness, whatever did people do before this?!
That's why I am very much looking forward to sundown today, when it becomes National Day of Unplugging.  From sundown today to sundown tomorrow I am not going to go on the computer, I'm not going to update any social media platform through my cell phone, and I am really, really going to limit my texting/calls to essentials only.  You see, tomorrow is a big celebration (Persian New Year) so I can't exactly go missing as I will be giving people directions, instructions, etc.  And I really want to keep this "limiting" as something beyond a habit of tomorrow.  It does make me sad when I see so few books crossed off my reading list, or I look at my mostly empty French language work book.  And I have so many pretty stationary sets that sit intact because I rarely write handwritten notes any more.  
I always have thought of myself as an old soul, who really appreciates those very normal and lovely luxuries of the past, like not turning on the television after dinner but sitting with a book.  But I think it's time to really adopt that sort of mindset that translates to everyday.  There's gotta be something to it.  Afterall, the people in my life that I find most interesting and look forward to speaking with are the ones that I can't just check their status update to see what's new in their life.

recent realizations

1.  I guess this is a realization that has come with growing up, but sometimes things that are will always be.  Stop trying to make something that continually frustrates you change, if you keep failing at changing it.  Sometimes, someone who makes your heart go pitter patter will always make your heart go pitter patter, and it's time to accept it.  Just don't give in to the other nonsense!
2.  Invest in some things, but not others.  Invest in fancy purses and lipstick, but don't spend $22 on a pizza, that's nonsense. I talk a lot about pizza, I know
3.  Life can be really disappointing.  Like when you walk into a show and all the men around you are devastatingly handsome, but as soon as the music starts they start grinding on each other, leaving your straight lady self out of the equation.  
4.  Manicures are important, I don't care what anyone says.

lazy days

Isn't it true that the most wonderful way to spend a Sunday is in the most lazy of fashions?  Coffee, farmers markets, baked goods, and rolling around in bed.  

image: Imogen Cunningham

underwear dancing music

This song makes me so, so happy. And good lookin' fellas in music videos never hurt either, even if they have a little bit of a killer in them.

recent realizations

1.  If you're not being appreciated (either at work, in friendship or relationships) DO something about it.  Sometimes you are so sure that you are going to be recognized for all the hard work you're putting into something, and then poof! no one recognizes it.  Don't complain, just do something.
2.  Kind of on a related note, don't compare your accomplishments or what you deserve based on what other people get.  You should compare against yourself and the work you put into something, not really against what other people are doing.  Just worry about yourself, silly!
3.  Sometimes pizza can be your best friend.  Don't argue with me on this one.
4.  Washing your hair right this minute isn't as important as cuddling with your puppy for a few hours.  After all, he will love you dirty hair or not!

problems that might not seem like problems

I don't really like to complain about things that bug me about my life out loud, mostly because I worry I will come off ungrateful and like I'm complaining about nothing.  But these crazy feelings of unhappiness aren't going away, so I'm trying to really look at my life and decide what I'm going to do next.  Here's the thing:  I live in Los Angeles, which I normally love but I've grown kind of sick of it.  I feel pretty disconnected from friends that I used to be quite close with and seem to have more "okay" friends than good friends here.  I have people in my life that I love dearly here, and it is really nice to be close to my family, but things here aren't meshing for me and aren't really things that are outweighing all the bad I am associating with where I live.  
I really dislike my job (this is the part where I feel I come off ungrateful).  I know it's a down economy and people are struggling to find good work and I should really be happy with what I have, but I'm not.  I don't know if a lot of people my age are feeling this, but I am.  I still have that crazy young person optimism that I can do something I love and am good at and find happiness in my work.  I know that might fade off, but I really hope it doesn't, because I don't want to be a person whose job is just a robotic motion of everyday.  My job is where I spend most of my days and I don't want to wallow in its unfulfilling nature.  
And this is where my struggle comes in.  I have this option to move to New York in 7 months.  I would move without a job (terrifying), a good amount of savings, but also some (relatively none) debt from college loans.  I also have this really crazy offer to live in Paris for a year with a good family friend.  My rent would be zero dollars.  In France.  But finding a job in France  for Americans is really, crazy hard.  Like almost impossibly hard.  I speak a bit of French, but am certainly not fluent, so I've been practicing a lot and bought a few books to make myself better.  I am exploring the whole teaching English in Paris option but I am not certain if that is what I want to do.  I will be in France in September with my family and that will give me some time to think about it, but God I would LOVE to just move there and figure things out.  It would be the opportunity I have always hoped for.  But, alas, I am a person who likes to plan everything out.  I don't just let things fall into place.  So the thought of moving anywhere and just figuring things out is really scary and too irresponsible for me to process. 
The only option that is completely off the table is doing what I am doing now.  It isn't working for me and it will only make me sadder and sadder.  I wake up every morning dreading to go to work, and when I get to work I feel so sad that no part of my job makes me happy.  I need to pick a new option, but they are all so scary.

recent realizations

1.  It is really important to do what you love often, in some capacity.  If you can't find a way to do what you love as a career, make sure you find time everyday to do it for yourself.  This really is applicable to all hobbies or passions.  I try to find time to write in some capacity everyday, and more recently I have started to practice my French everyday.  Although I think may neighbors are starting to think I'm crazy because I recite French phrases while doing the dishes with the window open.  Yikes.

2. Please, find time to disconnect.  I know this is going off of one of my realizations last week but really, nothing annoys me more when a friend checks-in everywhere we go throughout the day.  Keep it on the dl!  It gives us all an heir of mystery that we need!

3.  If you don't say thank you to people who open doors or hold elevators for your, you're a jerk.  

4.  There is nothing that will make you laugh more and at the same time be so grateful for what you have than watching old home movies.  It brings a joy about that is unmatched by most any other form of nostalgia.

something that has me upset

As journalists we are taught to remain objective and focused on the story, not the emotion that goes along with it, when reporting.  But as a woman, I really cannot help but feel outrage for the attacks I have seen against my sex in the past week.  In speaking to several other female writers, we are all shocked that the issue of birth control and basic access to women's health services are up for debate in this day and age.  Not only because most women are not divided on this issue, but also because it is coming up during an election year where one would think the economy, jobs, Syria and the nuclear possibilities of Iran would be main talking points.  

I have been watching this issue in the news, twitter, everywhere for the past month or so and wasn't so shocked at what had been going on.  I mean, the things I saw coming out of conservatives mouths were expected.  The things coming out of the mouths of the religious right were expected.  And even the lack of women present at the congressional talks on women's health care was expected (I don't have high hopes for our members of congress).  However when I heard this, there was really no stopping my level of outrage.  Yes, Limbaugh is an accepted crazy person.  He says things that are outlandish, ridiculous, and I believe sometimes just for ratings.  For goodness sake, a man who weighs nearly 300 pounds said First Lady Michelle Obama resembled a "tub of mustard" when wearing a yellow dress.  

This is not a man who deserves any respect.  But it was the context of him calling this girl a "slut" that made me so mad.  In the tape, he continually asks how much sex this girl must be having that she cannot afford birth control.  Anyone who knows how birth control works, knows that that is the stupidest statement you can make.  Whether you are having sex once a month or a thousand times a month, you use the same dosage of birth control (one pill/day, one shot/3months/, etc) and it speaks nothing of your sexual behavior.  And even if this girl was having tons of sex with tons of men, it is really no place of any man, woman, radio host or member of congress to judge.  He continued to shame this woman by saying her parents must be "so proud" that she is admittedly having so much sex she can't afford it.  

The way I see it is women are more at risk in terms of sexual disease than men (that is a fact, based on basic physiology), they have to buy things for their period every month (this stuff is expensive), and have to visit a gynecologist in addition to their primary care physicians each year for a check-up (more co-pays, more tests, more money).  To impose the idea that women who cannot afford birth control shouldn't be having sex is a ridiculous argument.  Almost as ridiculous as teaching abstinence in schools--it's simply not effective and an all around ideological way of thinking.  

But you know what really makes me angriest about all of this?  Is the other group of people they are not asking to testify.  Women should be able to testify at these hearings, but so should men who refuse to wear condoms during intercourse.  Especially if those men are members of Congress.  I think that will quickly shut everyone up and stop this debate over a basic women's right issue.